Divorce in Missouri: A Plain-English Guide

Nobody plans for a divorce. One day you’re arguing about whose turn it is to take out the trash, and the next you’re wondering who gets the house, how often you’ll see the kids, and how you’re supposed to pay a lawyer on top of everything else. My job is to make this process bearable: to get you through the legal side and take some of the weight off your shoulders while we do it.

Here’s how divorce works in Missouri, in plain English, with links to my more detailed articles on each topic. If you’re in St. Charles County or the St. Louis area and want to talk about your situation, contact Markwell Law or call 636-486-1093.

Missouri Divorce: Quick Answers

  • Do I qualify to file in Missouri? You or your spouse must have lived in Missouri (or been stationed here in the military) for at least 90 days. Only one of you has to meet that. More on residency.
  • Do I have to prove someone was at fault? No. Missouri is a no-fault state. The court only has to find the marriage is “irretrievably broken.” More on grounds.
  • How long does it take? The law requires at least 30 days after filing, no exceptions. In our experience, an uncontested divorce usually takes about 90 days. A contested one can take 18 months or more. How long a divorce takes.
  • Does it matter who files first? Legally, not much. Practically, sometimes. Who should file first?
  • Is property split 50/50? Not automatically. Missouri divides marital property “equitably,” which means fairly, and fair isn’t always equal.
  • Do I need a lawyer? You’re not required to have one, but if you have children, a house, retirement accounts, or a spouse who has a lawyer, you’ll want one.

The Divorce Process, Step by Step

In Missouri the official name is “dissolution of marriage,” but everybody calls it divorce. Most cases follow these steps:

  1. Talk to a lawyer. We go over your situation, what you want, what you’re worried about, and what’s realistic.
  2. File the petition. The Petition for Dissolution of Marriage tells the court who you are, when you married and separated, about your children, and what you’re asking for. The 30-day clock starts when it’s filed.
  3. Serve your spouse. Your spouse gets formal notice, usually by sheriff or process server. In friendly cases, they can sign a waiver instead. Should I waive service?
  4. Exchange financial information. Both sides disclose income, expenses, property and debts early on. Getting your paperwork together fast keeps the case moving. Mandatory document exchange
  5. File parenting plans (if you have children). Each parent must submit a proposed parenting plan within 30 days after being served.
  6. Negotiate or mediate. Most cases settle here. Mediation, with a neutral third party helping you find common ground, is almost always faster and cheaper than a trial.
  7. Trial, if needed. If you can’t agree on everything, the judge decides whatever is left.
  8. Judgment. The court signs the Judgment of Dissolution, which spells out custody, support, and who gets what. That’s when you’re officially divorced.

Uncontested vs. Contested Divorce

An uncontested divorce means you and your spouse agree on everything: property, debts, custody, support. It’s faster, cheaper, and a lot easier on everybody, especially the kids. A contested divorce means you disagree on at least one thing, and every disagreement adds time and money. More on uncontested divorce.

Suffice it to say, the more you can work out ahead of time, the better. The divorces where people fight about everything take forever, and in most cases nobody really “wins.”

Children: Custody, Parenting Plans and Support

If you have minor children, they’re the most important part of the case, and usually the hardest.

  • Custody. Missouri separates legal custody (who makes the big decisions: school, health care, religion) from physical custody (where the children live and when). Legal vs. physical custody
  • Equal parenting time. Since 2023, Missouri courts start from a presumption that roughly equal parenting time is in the children’s best interests. That presumption can be overcome by the evidence, but it’s where the court begins.
  • Parenting plan. Every case with children needs a written parenting plan covering the schedule, holidays, decision-making, and how you’ll handle disagreements.
  • Child support. Missouri calculates support with a worksheet called Form 14, based on both parents’ incomes, the parenting schedule, and costs like health insurance and child care. How Form 14 works

Property and Debts

Missouri divides marital property, generally what either of you acquired during the marriage, in a way the court finds fair. Separate property, like things you owned before the marriage or inherited, usually stays with you. The court looks at things like each spouse’s economic situation, contributions to the marriage, and who’ll have the children. The division of property: it’s just business

Don’t forget the other side of the ledger: debts get divided too. And a divorce judgment doesn’t bind your creditors. If your ex was ordered to pay a joint credit card and doesn’t, the card company can still come after you. Because I also practice bankruptcy law, I look at how the debts are split, not just the assets, and whether bankruptcy should come before, after, or instead of certain parts of the divorce.

Spousal Support (Maintenance)

Missouri calls alimony “maintenance.” It isn’t automatic. A court can award it when one spouse can’t meet their reasonable needs and can’t support themselves through work, looking at things like the length of the marriage, each spouse’s earning ability, and the standard of living during the marriage.

Not Ready to Divorce? Legal Separation

A legal separation handles the same issues as a divorce, like custody, support and property, but you stay legally married. Some couples choose it for religious, insurance or personal reasons. Legal separation vs. divorce

What a Divorce Costs

The biggest factor in cost is how much you and your spouse agree. Court filing fees are modest. Attorney’s fees are where the real money goes, and they climb with every issue you fight about. Attorney’s fees for a divorce

If There Is Abuse or a Threat of Violence

If you or your children are in danger, your safety comes first. Missouri courts can issue orders of protection, and they can also be misused as a weapon in a divorce. Orders of protection: shields or swords? and surviving an order of protection. If you’ve been served with one, see Served With an Order of Protection? What to Do Next. If you’re in immediate danger, call 911.

Getting Divorced vs. Being Divorced

The legal case ends. Life after it doesn’t. Some of the best advice I can give has nothing to do with the law. Getting divorced vs. being divorced

More Divorce Articles

Talk to a St. Charles County Divorce Lawyer

Every divorce is different, and the right move depends on your family, your finances and your goals. If you’re thinking about divorce, or your spouse has already filed, contact Markwell Law or call 636-486-1093. Let’s talk about your options.

This page is general information, not legal advice for your situation. Reading it does not create an attorney-client relationship.